Contradictions

 

We are a bundle of contradictions. We say one thing and mean exactly the opposite. We do things we ought not to and don’t do those which we ought to. We invariably find ourselves pre-judging persons. Call it prejudice, bias. Why do we do it? What drives us to form biased views? One reason could be the habit of making comparisons. Comparing one with another on lifestyle, income, social standing, career, profession and many such things crowd our mind so much that we fail to comprehend the reality. In Economics parlance it is called ‘demonstration effect’. Comparisons are very dangerous, more so in personal relationship. Our mind is constantly engaged in such ‘comparison mode’ and end up ‘satisfied\dissatisfied’ depending on our rating vis-a-vis the other person in ‘comparison scale’.

Self-righteousness is another major cause for contradictions. Some of us are obsessed with ‘I-am-ok-rest-are-not-ok’ principle. They feel that others are always wrong. Their mind is a minefield of dilemmas analysing and rationalizing the behavioural pattern of others. All the while, in their attempt at being self-righteous, they bring themselves under tremendous stress without being aware of it.

Why do we find it difficult to accept people for what they are? Why indulge in critical examination of whoever that comes across us? Do we have to do it – bringing every action, reaction, response under microscope? Is it too difficult a task to accept them at face value? Live and let live proves elusive. Maybe, they reckon it is too philosophical.

Treating others’ views regardless of its relevance or otherwise with utter disregard, contempt is yet another display of our myopic mindset. Can we attribute it to feeling of insecurity? Or irrational hatred?

While ego is a universally acknowledged enemy, self-respect is considered a virtue. So thin is the line between what we perceive as self-respect and ego, the probability of getting them mixed up is very high.  

Our behaviour in victory and defeat is perhaps the biggest test of character. Humility in victory and grace in defeat are a dream armoury to possess. To find the meaning of equanimity all that we need to do is to consult dictionary. By merely gathering its meaning from dictionary will not make us so. Are we really capable of consistently displaying equanimity in adverse situations?   

We tend to carry too many negative feelings. Despite being aware of adverse impact of negative feelings, we find it hard to get rid of them. Again a bundle of contradictions. Positive mental attitude is the buzzword. Yet the degree of eagerness to hug PMA is drowned by the force of negative feelings. Why is it that we attach so much importance to negative feelings?  A deeper analysis might even suggest that we are allowing ourselves to be ruled by them. Human brain is very tricky, so said a wise man. And we are proving him right by our actions. One part of our mind wants us to keep an open mind while the other does everything possible to shut it. The burden of contradictions keeps mounting and the possibility of collapsing under its weight is alarmingly high.

We find ourselves obsessed with ‘what-might-others-say’ syndrome. As a consequence of this syndrome, we find people behaving differently and unnaturally. We are not who we are. Duplicity?  Hypocrisy? It is widely believed that we need to change constantly, adapt to the circumstances, changing times. How often do we hear people saying ‘if only that was in place’, world would be a better place to live in. Such sweeping generalization only camouflages a weak mind. Aren’t we our own enemy? Unable to face the reality, we hide behind a mask. The first place for change to happen is our doorstep. But then we believe in exactly the opposite!

It is time for us to see the bigger picture, reflect and introspect, ignore the narrow narrative, live and let live. Life is fun. Have fun. If there’s none, find one!