FUNNY & PUNNY - AND THEIR NEW CLEAR DEAL

Funny & Punny – And Their New Clear Deal
Funny & Punny were dilly-dallying over this deal for quite sometime now. Their minds were exploded by the confusion over the new deal. The funny side of it is that while the Funny side appear to have a clear idea about the all new clear deal and to them it was just another new clear deal, the Punny side didn’t quite agree. It is ‘one-too-many’ they hissed. You are wrong, Punny, it is just one-two-three, Funny countered. ‘one-to-three’, what nonsense is this, it is just one-to-one, you & me, alright, Punny snapped at Funny. Punny thought he gave the ‘right’ reply – which ‘left’ Funny fuming. And was about to explode. He held back. Look, let me put it this way: it is ‘one’ to me: ‘two’ to you & ‘three’ to ‘US’. Will that make you happy? But, stuttered Punny, “Swami wrote to me ‘1-to-3’ is a non-starter”, looking even more confused. Funny then put his hand around Punny’s back and said ever so politely, ‘let us stop beating (about the) ‘bush’, let me explain step-by-step, one-two-th.., Punny broke away from Funny not allowing Funny to complete and with an all-knowing wry smile writ large on his face, muttered between teeth: ‘how dare you teach me ‘abacus’. Abacus interruptus!
And the debate on the ‘new clear deal’ continued. The Funny side were clear in their mind that it was good for the country to go ahead with the new clear deal. While the Punny side ‘left’ everyone dazed by their tactics of having ‘left’ no stone unturned in their attempt to stall the ‘new clear deal’ which they were clear that Funny side are not so clear - their claim notwithstanding - about the whole thing called ‘new clear deal’. They thought there was more to it. Not just one, two and three! To them it was a myster(y)ee. Punny side were always ‘left’ thinking on how to get the Funny side to think right. It was just when the Punny side were indulging in yet another bout of tongue-lashing – only this time lashing their tongues at ‘fish’ during a lunch break – they can never stay away from it – during a marathon ‘camaraderie’ session to get a ‘clear’ vision on the ‘new clear deal’ that they thought little bit of ‘Rice’ would go well with the fish! Just as well, because ‘Rice’ & Fish’ together jell well. It was nice to see ‘rice’ walk along with ‘fish’ and help digest not just the ‘rice’, not just the ‘fish’, but along with ‘dal’ the whole ‘deal’. And every Man, Mohan & Singh are singing ‘Singh is King’. Now the (h)air is ‘clear’. Let us be ‘all clear’. Not just that. Let us be ‘head & shoulders’ above the rest. Let us beat the ‘beast’ in us and be the Best.

GRIN & BEAR IT

Grin & Bear It
It was after a lot of debate & discussion on whether we should go for ‘snow white or maroon’ that we finally opted for ‘maroon’ color for our car. Just as well, I sighed as I looked at my car. Someone staying at the top obviously got rid of the ‘pan’ from his mouth at jet speed. And my car parked below got ‘panwashed’. What if we had gone for ‘snowwhite’? The thought staggered me. And then I was seized by anger, anger at the fact that such stupid act of spitting is being done so matter-of-factly and shamelessly, anger at my helplessness at not being able to trace the culprit. Then my anger was overpowered by the power of these words: just grin & bear it!

I eased in to the traffic and found my self at an intersection. I was waiting for the green. A road divider was in place for about 50 meters to the ‘stop’ sign painted on the road. It is not always that you find such road dividers and so I was just inwardly praising the civil authorities for their work to ensure smooth flow of traffic. My thoughts were abruptly halted on seeing in the rear-view mirror a car coming from behind and suddenly cutting lane just before the divider and coming to a screeching halt outside the ‘road divider’! And another two-wheeler snaked ahead similarly. And another….within seconds, an equal number of vehicles were waiting for the green on both sides of the road divider!! And revving up the engine to beat the traffic. Well so much for traffic manners. Just grin & bear it.

On another day, I was traveling in a bus. My co-passenger was wired all over. He was in endless conversation – unmindful of the inconvenience he is causing to the other passengers. I began contemplating that just as there is a ban on smoking at public places, there should be a total ban on speaking endlessly and loudly over mobile in public places. One would understand the need of an urgent call. But when one is indulging in endless chatting, with total disregard to the discomfort caused as a result to others, it makes sense to put an end to such nonsense. The IQ* is very high particularly when you are traveling, watching a movie in a theatre where you simply can not get away from the place. The thought of introducing a restrictive clause in the usage of mobile evaporated just as quickly because the ‘concern’ for the person next to you is not his ‘concern’. Just grin & bear it. *Inconvenience Quotient
Why blame politicians alone for being ‘opportunistic’. All of us are, in one way or the other. Go to a railway station. Even as the train is entering the platform, you see people running, pushing and shoving one another in their attempt to get in to the train. One can understand if you are boarding an unreserved coach. If you have a confirmed ticket, why should you indulge in all this ‘elbowing’ activity? If you think you would be spared of these if you are traveling by air, perish the thought. Here too, you see people rushing to get on board. Even when you are lined up, you find people extremely fidgety & twitchy, turning around frequently, craning their necks over the shoulder of the person in front, suddenly bending awkwardly throwing the persons off-balance. But the only comfort is that the degree of discomfort is slightly less. It beats me whether we are incapable of reining in such ill-mannered behavior. All this reminds me of the childhood play where on sighting the other, you would simply shout ‘statue’ and he would stop in his tracks and stand like a ‘statue’ in whatever position he is in. I feel like doing it now when I see such mindless rush. But then all I can do is just grin & bear it.