News: New Sense or Nuisance

 

 

If you don’t read newspaper, you are labelled uninformed. If you read one, you are more likely to be mis-informed. In this age of non-stop verbal and visual diarrhoea, there is a growing tendency to become aggressively prejudiced, highly opinionated on anything and everything, whether connected or otherwise. Covering every inch of TV space with pictures, events, both horizontal and vertical scrolling bars, your eyes straining to catch everything, your mind becomes a minefield trying hard to decipher and analyse. Ironically at the end of it all you are none the wiser! In fact you are even more confused than ever. Such is the havoc wreaked by the 24*7 news channels.

While some watch TV, some read newspapers to stay abreast with current situations – be it political, social, academic or sports. They do so with the fond hope of being entertained or enlightened or attaining both. It is a tragedy of infinite proportion that instead of being a source of sober, rational and analytical reporting, the media has allowed itself to be sucked by a vicious whirlpool of one-upmanship. Sensationalizing news, ear-splitting debates cause more damage than heal. Provocative statements, high pitch and inflammatory arguments, selective outrage have become the norm. Panel discussions are meant for gathering different views, finding solutions. Instead they are being used as platform for spewing venom and scoring political points.  

Fourth estate is a very powerful player. It influences the minds of people. Word is mightier than the sword. The media uses its (s)word so effectively that its readers or viewers remain glued to it. Of late, it is disappointing that it is blinded by instant popularity by excessive use of strong adjectives to catch your attention. Such is the power of today’s media  - particularly the electronic media – that it has created unrest among family members, with each one taking sides, adding to the sound pollution. Instead of creating and enabling an atmosphere of social harmony, it is slowly but surely achieving exactly the opposite.

Graphic description of crimes, repeating visuals continuously, zooming effects all these and much more have tremendous effect on the impressionable minds. You hardly get to see sober reporting of news. The tone and tenor is always on sensationalizing and attention grabbing. Snappy and catchy phrases, generous use of hashtags, simultaneous display of viewer’s response via twitter, response counts make a heady mix, leaving no scope for dispassionate analysis. Merely reporting news is no more a virtue. Pick and choose, selective narration to promote or discredit a particular ideology appear more newsworthy!

There appears to be no place for tranquillity. The world is moving at a fast and furious pace. In business, workplace, profession and every field, you see people passionately pursuing success in their respective field. No problem. But pursuit of success is slowly being replaced by ‘success at any cost’ which is really worrying. The irrational craving for becoming rich and famous overnight is corroding the very edifice of humanity. With your mind already crowded and thereby clouded with all the strategies, this continuous news stream only add to your tension. Ever increasing negative news is another reason for the psychological trauma faced by people young and old alike.

Freedom of expression is the holy-grail of democracy. Is it absolute? Should it be moderated? As a responsible citizen, you need to draw a line of self-control. Assuming there are two options before you: voicing your opinion in public to derive political mileage or cheap popularity with total disregard to its consequences OR maintain saintly silence which will go unnoticed. Which will you pick? Licence to kill is also a licence not to kill – to borrow the lines of a James Bond movie! As a corollary, ‘freedom to express is also a freedom not to express? Instead of bringing ‘new sense’, news is becoming a ‘nuisance’!

Working In Tandem

 

My little darling has the uncanny ability to wake up the moment the alarm bell rings unlike me. With such clinical precision she begins her day, ever mindful that she has to leave for work by 9 in the morning. By the time I join her, she is ready with steaming coffee. We decide on the breakfast and lunch while sipping coffee. If there is one decision which is taken unanimously, it is what we have for breakfast and lunch, of which neither of us is fussy or choosy. It is sheer coincidence that the division of work is so smooth because of the fact that she likes to exactly what I am reluctant and vice-versa! Slicing onions is a ‘tearful’ act which I like and she doesn’t. My lit. da.is a multi-tasking expert. Even as she is placing the vessel on the gas stove she picks up from where she left off earlier on the innumerable incidents – some funny, some outrageous – and goes on to narrate them. I am amazed about her multi-tasking ability because she goes about her job with clinical precision not once faltering on the right measure of rice or the flame controller. Or rolling ‘rotis’ and frying them simultaneously! I tried several times to match her. I was a miserable failure as  I either forgot to turn the ‘roti’ over in my attempt to roll it or kept turning it over the pane and forgot to roll the ‘roti’. I thought it wise to confine myself to what I do best – listen! The clutter of the vessels went well with the ‘chatter’box. While her multi-tasking continued, I would help her doing sundry things like scraping coconut, running grinder and cleaning up the utensils. Both of us enjoy working in tandem, seldom showing disinterest. Even on our return from office, we share the work. While she does all the work that requires skill, I complete the other part – like dish washing, cleaning up the wash basin and tidying up the kitchen. This sharing of work has allowed us to work in relaxed manner which is a luxury to most working couple. Both of us derive immense joy in sharing the work. This has helped us cope with the pressure associated with working couple where unfortunately the balance is heavily tilted in favor of one community – usually male.

Writer’s Gambit

 

It isn’t easy giving expressions to your thoughts. When you do, it gives you immense joy. Reining in your racing mind to give proper shape to your thought flow is as challenging and skilful as a game of chess. Chess is a mind game. So is writing. Both involve deep analysis, sound reasoning and logical sequence.

Analysing and visualizing atmosphere, events, situations, experiences and crafting them together to create a world of words is the essence of writing.

How do writers manage to write voluminous novels? How long do they take to write such big novels? Which is more difficult – writing a novel or a column for a news paper or a magazine? While a novel has no restrictions on number of words, a column confines your writing to a specified length – ranging from 400 to 800 words. Confining your writing to the word count is a serious challenge because you are faced with twin challenges: not missing on important details and not crossing the word limit. Timely submission is again a challenging task. In a magazine or a newspaper, space is premium. This is where your skill as a writer is put to severe test. Economy and choice of words are of essence. Also, you will notice how skilfully the freelancers, columnists delight you with their articles, saying everything they want to say and yet not crossing the writer’s line of control! An enviable lot, surely.

Novelists have no such compulsions. It is in fact the opposite. If it is a 100-metre dash for columnists, it is marathon for novelists. Some authors use long, loopy sentences, sometimes running to almost half page. Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ is a classic example where she casts such a mesmerizing web of words that will leave you spellbound. She has the uncanny knack of alluding to and mixing several things in between, the beginning of a sentence and its end sometimes consuming 6-8 lines! A daunting task for an infant reader because by the time he reaches the end of the long paragraph, he will be compelled to re-read the beginning and connect the dots in between to finally get a sense of the author’s mind. Imagine if it is 500-pager, the number of times he ends up reading and re-reading.

From a writer’s viewpoint, playing with words is sheer joy. You have so many options to choose from and select those that will best express your thoughts. A successful writer is able to make the reader visualize and feel the sequences, scenes, characters in exactly the same way as a visual display, like watching a television. Such is the power of writing. Pain and pleasure, joy and grief, hope and despair, writer’s job is to create all these emotions that run through the lifecycle.  

The flow of thoughts and their sequence to hold the reader’s attention are yet another set of challenges for a writer. Readers are of different mindsets. Some enjoy the choice of words. Some look at the content. Capturing the reader’s attention throughout is the acid test for a writer. ‘Give me a piece, I will turn it into a masterpiece’ is a writer’s gambit – a la ‘queen’s gambit’ in Chess. Accepted? Or declined?

Living in harmony

 

Can we honestly claim that we are living in harmony? We are not, much as we wish to, much as we want to believe otherwise. Why so? We find people around us under constant pressure. Maybe we have lost the art of forgetting. Why is it that we remember vividly the late arrival of train, the day the boss was less-than-friendly and all such unfavourable situations while we forget the number of days the train arrived on time, the boss’s generosity and the innumerable situations which were beneficial.  Our mind is filled with data – most of which are junk data or the negative thoughts. They corrupt our mind. Just as we remove the junk from the computer, we need to constantly get rid of the  negative thoughts that play havoc and ruin our life.

Fill the mind with abundant love and affection. Live and let live. Pre-judging people, reading too much into others’ behaviour, needless analysis crowd our mind. Have we ever tried to forget and forgive? Just think about it. Most of the times we begin to rationalize the behaviour, actions, emotions of others. Why did he say that? What made him do it? And myriad such thoughts plague our mind and we lose focus on important things in life. Our priorities go haywire. While one part of our mind constantly reminds us to stay calm and composed, the other part is equally active in directing our thought process to undesirable and unhealthy path. (Un)knowingly we fall prey to devilish designs of our mind!    

We need to realize that each one is unique, having views which are not necessarily the same as that of others. We need to learn to respect differing views. Only when we respect others’ views can there be meaningful discussion, debate. It is not about winning the debate. Let us not reduce life to a mere race to be won. If we do that we would be missing the cake for the wrapper. It is more about the life lessons that we need to embrace rather than trivia.

A weak mind takes the easy way out, blaming the circumstances, framing excuses instead of going through the process, the hard grind thereby missing the missing the bigger picture. Let our mind be an ocean of love and affection, compassion and humility which will pave the way for ‘living in harmony’.

Take it easy. Seriously

 

Do we wear a smile on our face? Or is it grumpy? Do we laugh instantly? Or pause and ponder? We seem to have made life so complicated with needless analysis. Life is not a balance sheet to be critically analysed. Nor is it a 100-meter dash. But then we are treating it as one!

The day begins with the shrill sound of alarm. From then on we are on the run. Even as we brush teeth, we try to wake up others. ‘Hurry up, it’s getting late’ is  a war cry. We barely glance at the newspaper headlines, let alone read it. We miss the joy of little things. We are in such tearing hurry in our daily activities. The more i think of it the more i am convinced that we are just going through the motions of life. Have we ever paused why we are living a robotic life? We seem to have lost the art of living. Unconsciously we seem to have been trapped by the ‘compulsion to be perfect’ in everything including our lifestyle. How we talk, the way we dress, the food we eat, where we eat, whether we beat the sun or lazy enough to see it by noon and myriad such things occupy our mind needlessly. We seldom laugh out loud even to humor. We don’t have time for friends. We rarely make it to social functions. We find every excuse to stay away from family functions. Even if we do attend it is more out of compulsion than willingness.

Perhaps we have become severely burdened by unreasonable expectations. Viewing everything through a narrow prism of regimented life, we have allowed ourselves to be emotionally bankrupt. Idle talk is a strict no-no. The   expression is one of depression. So very disturbing. We don’t seem to enjoy life at all. All the time we are driven by having to ‘conform and comply’. Who sets these ‘conform and comply’ rules? If you are in a group, even a simple task of having tea at your chosen time at your chosen place becomes nightmarish experience. This unabated assault on our minds by the ‘conform and comply’ standards has created such havoc that we have grown to live a robotic life.

Why take life so seriously that we become a prisoner despite being outside prison? Time we pressed ‘shift-delete’ button to get rid of junk thoughts. Let us enjoy life, here and now. Take it easy, seriously!

CONTRADICTIONS-2

 

 A certain Vijay Mallya, wearing dark glasses (perhaps a reflection of his dark deeds) draping his arms around bewitching semi-clad gals, has the gall to cry foul and play the ‘victim/witch-hunt’ card over the legal steps taken by bankers and the Indian government against him. Cooling his heels in his snow-covered mountainside luxury villa in London, (what if he owes a mountain of debts!) mocking at the Indian law and the judiciary, sipping and savoring the choicest brewery, Mallya is watching every move of the hapless bankers and the ED and their wringing hands in sheer frustration. His arrogance defies description.

 The same bankers, the very same Officers of the ED throw the law book with clock-like precision at lesser mortals and bring them to knees! The contrast and the contradictions are impossible to escape the attention of the discerning.

 Corporate conglomerates and who is who of the Bollywood went hammer and tongs, bidding and outbidding, offering heaps of money to overrated cricketers for the IPL masala. The hype and the frenzy with which it is followed, jam-packed stadium, the swinging hips of the cheer girls, the bursting crackers, non-stop commentary, from pre-match analysis to post-match postmortem lasting well past midnight, all of which combine to make a diet that is simply irresistible to young and old alike. It is raining everywhere – fours and sixes, that is. Drenched from head-to-toe, it is raining everywhere – ‘money’ that is. For 46 days, India will witness torrential rain of money power that will quench the ‘super rich greedy’ leaving the ‘needy’ high and dry! While the spectators erupt in joy, the cry of the poor and the needy goes unheard, unnoticed. With their urge to splurge in IPL masala, the super rich are scoffing at the coffins of the poor and the needy – their aspirations hammered and nailed! Biting contradictions.

 For the Gates, the Buffets, the Zuckerbergs, charity begins at home. They have pledged unimaginable portions of their wealth for charities, for the common good of the society. Their concern for the downtrodden, for the most backward section of the population irrespective of geographical area, caste, creed and religion is unmatched. The fact that it is done voluntarily, of their own free will makes it even more admirable. Mind you, none went to them with a begging bowl. Their humane gesture is governed by simple philosophy of ‘giving back to the society’ which has given them so much. It is a life lesson which we don’t seem to learn, much less practice! It is irony of outlandish proportion that people thousands of miles away with absolutely no cultural ties having such noble thoughts while the wealthy within sniffing distance of the ‘hungry and the needy’ choose to turn a nelson eye. And even build a bungalow – sometimes as high as 30 odd floors – without an ounce of guilt. Startling contradictions.

 No one grudges the rich and the wealthy. They are being human too. Would they spare some for the ‘lesser human beings’? if not for equality, at least for the sake of humanity! Otherwise these cruel contradictions will haunt them for eternity.

Contradictions

 

We are a bundle of contradictions. We say one thing and mean exactly the opposite. We do things we ought not to and don’t do those which we ought to. We invariably find ourselves pre-judging persons. Call it prejudice, bias. Why do we do it? What drives us to form biased views? One reason could be the habit of making comparisons. Comparing one with another on lifestyle, income, social standing, career, profession and many such things crowd our mind so much that we fail to comprehend the reality. In Economics parlance it is called ‘demonstration effect’. Comparisons are very dangerous, more so in personal relationship. Our mind is constantly engaged in such ‘comparison mode’ and end up ‘satisfied\dissatisfied’ depending on our rating vis-a-vis the other person in ‘comparison scale’.

Self-righteousness is another major cause for contradictions. Some of us are obsessed with ‘I-am-ok-rest-are-not-ok’ principle. They feel that others are always wrong. Their mind is a minefield of dilemmas analysing and rationalizing the behavioural pattern of others. All the while, in their attempt at being self-righteous, they bring themselves under tremendous stress without being aware of it.

Why do we find it difficult to accept people for what they are? Why indulge in critical examination of whoever that comes across us? Do we have to do it – bringing every action, reaction, response under microscope? Is it too difficult a task to accept them at face value? Live and let live proves elusive. Maybe, they reckon it is too philosophical.

Treating others’ views regardless of its relevance or otherwise with utter disregard, contempt is yet another display of our myopic mindset. Can we attribute it to feeling of insecurity? Or irrational hatred?

While ego is a universally acknowledged enemy, self-respect is considered a virtue. So thin is the line between what we perceive as self-respect and ego, the probability of getting them mixed up is very high.  

Our behaviour in victory and defeat is perhaps the biggest test of character. Humility in victory and grace in defeat are a dream armoury to possess. To find the meaning of equanimity all that we need to do is to consult dictionary. By merely gathering its meaning from dictionary will not make us so. Are we really capable of consistently displaying equanimity in adverse situations?   

We tend to carry too many negative feelings. Despite being aware of adverse impact of negative feelings, we find it hard to get rid of them. Again a bundle of contradictions. Positive mental attitude is the buzzword. Yet the degree of eagerness to hug PMA is drowned by the force of negative feelings. Why is it that we attach so much importance to negative feelings?  A deeper analysis might even suggest that we are allowing ourselves to be ruled by them. Human brain is very tricky, so said a wise man. And we are proving him right by our actions. One part of our mind wants us to keep an open mind while the other does everything possible to shut it. The burden of contradictions keeps mounting and the possibility of collapsing under its weight is alarmingly high.

We find ourselves obsessed with ‘what-might-others-say’ syndrome. As a consequence of this syndrome, we find people behaving differently and unnaturally. We are not who we are. Duplicity?  Hypocrisy? It is widely believed that we need to change constantly, adapt to the circumstances, changing times. How often do we hear people saying ‘if only that was in place’, world would be a better place to live in. Such sweeping generalization only camouflages a weak mind. Aren’t we our own enemy? Unable to face the reality, we hide behind a mask. The first place for change to happen is our doorstep. But then we believe in exactly the opposite!

It is time for us to see the bigger picture, reflect and introspect, ignore the narrow narrative, live and let live. Life is fun. Have fun. If there’s none, find one!

 

Funny & Punny and their Timeless Tales

 

Funny and Punny were deep in discussion. Through their DID – no, not the reality show

– they were ‘toi’ng with the ideas. Suddenly from out of nowhere they heard an

announcement heralding the arrival of ‘Aakaarvani’. As F&P could not see anyone

around, they surmised it must be the voice of ‘asharirvani’. They chatted along.

Funny: Aakaarvani is the latest entry

Punny: ‘A flood of vanis’, aakashvani, asharirvani

F: Wonder though about its ‘aakar’ – Nirvikaar, Saakar or Nakar

P: Maybe just a ghost in jest

F: ‘Alec, your are smart, but ‘erratic’

P: Sounds like you are ‘politically correct’

F: Correction, ‘politically incorrect’

P: Point taken, but such ‘politically incorrect’ statements ‘shobha’ nahi ‘de’ta

F: Don’t teach Men Morals, Guru Charan sparsh se Das bano

P: Be your age, find a (half) friend

F: Yes of course, I’m an eternal ‘optimist’ despite my ‘age’

P: Ever heard of ‘Gupt’shastra – the theory of Right and Wrong

F: It is time for ‘Deep Focus’

P: It is so routine, no ‘out of turn’

F: Sadly, it is the ultimate ‘seize within’

P: Akbar makes you read akhbar baar baar

F: Brother Akbar is the ‘blood’line of ‘age’less times of India

P: Nothing else chokes your ‘vein’ as easily as the funny, punny, witty ‘jug’lery of words

 F: Times drowned in ‘oceanic’ temptation

P: No, sucked by suave ‘sagar’ika whirlpool

F: Sharp as razor. Swami N Om can’t resist the temptation of drilling your ‘ankle’

horizontally to unearth ‘shal’low gas even as you find readers gnashing their teeth and

muttering an occasional ‘aiy’ followed by ‘er’

P: Vehemently singular in supporting ‘plural’istic society·          

F: Never Economic in its Times with its profound ideas

P: Courts are known to take years to pass judgment, but then these are times for ‘snap

judgment’

F: It carries so many ‘mirrors’ for us to see and reflect

P: If your are thrown off its views, rest assured of a balanced ‘counterview’

F: I can’t shift from ‘I’ to small ‘I’ to keep pace with changing times. Subtle and

deliberate

P: Very symbolic – arrogance represented by ( I ) replaced by humility ( i)

F: If you are crestfallen, try ‘crest’

P: These are times when ‘trees speak’

The clock struck nine. Their chat was abruptly cut short by earsplitting sound. They

realized it is ‘times now’! And wound up.

Bric-by-Bric (D)Rama is building UP

                                                  

Funny: A very interesting dRama is coming UP – a multi starrer

Punny: You mean ‘all parties’ are playing the dRama! With all SPecial effects

F: You got to Be SPecific

P: Every ‘Bahu’ in Samaj is a party to the UPcoming dRama

F: You are under illusion. There is a bahu behind every statue

P: They are leaving no ‘bric’ unturned to ensure success of their dRama

F: People are amused really, musing over museums

P: Park your flow of thoughts, do they have any ‘theme’ at all in this dRama

F:Centuries back, we had a ‘Raman Effect’

P: Yes, it was neither dRamatic, nor thematic. It was purely scientific, acclaimed world over

F: Are we regressive in this progressive world?

P:You promised ‘good governance’

F: Yes, but we haven’t ‘modi’fied enough?

P: Neither ‘surgical’ enough

F: What we are seeing is ‘maximum dRama’, whatever has become of ‘maximum governance’? 

Having successfully played the dRama decades ago, they are playing it all over again. What they don’t realize is people are seeing through their dRama of one-UPmanship, highly cynical of their sinister designs. Time Now for all Indian citizens to adopt ‘Uniform Civic Code’ to check-mate their dRama move-by-move, bric-by-bric! (Cut the ‘SAARC’asm).

AK 56 strikes and how!

                                                 

Funny: While every common man is making a bee-line for bank and ATM, every ‘con-man’ is screaming ‘terror attack’, being beaten black and blue, err black and white!

Punny: Real(ly) (e)state is in a state of shock what after being hit by a ten-ton-brick

F: Jewellers are painfully reminded of old classic Hindi movie – ‘Jewel Thief’

PF: A cross section of society is so cross with the measure

F: And you have Didi-the Durgi denouncing it as draconian

P: People and press going ‘gaga’ over a certain ‘Raga’ going to ATM

F:Ever since the AK56 strike, banks are devastated by the ‘demon’etisation debris

P: You mean a flood of 500 and 1000 currencies

F: You see bankers parroting ‘as long as you have Aadhar, you don’t have to ‘darr’(worry)

P: You can drive around with your ‘licence’ for exchanging old notes

F: ‘Pan’ India you need to have a card

P: Please note to give your ‘vote’(r ID) to get your note (exchanged)

F: It is your ‘passport’ to long term gain

P: Remember, no-pain-no-gain theory

Even as the common man is grappling with the financial war unleashed by AK56 aimed at ‘con-man’, we are ‘Left’ with no alternative but to take it with a pinch-of-salt which is hurting your pocket no less! Brace yourself for more pain (gain)!!

 

AK-56 Versus AK-47

Funny: For once, all political parties backed the army action and displayed exemplary solidarity with their ‘nation above all’ stand

Punny: Hold it, opposition seems to have realized that popularity level of the ruling party might soar and are extremely ‘surgical’ in producing a narrative which runs counter to their earlier stand

F: Maybe they discovered a ‘modi’fied version of terror!

P: Precisely, otherwise how does one explain a certain leader from congress to digress from party line to seek ‘proof’ of surgical strikes!

F: And then you have the AAP leader demanding that video footage of the ‘surgical strike’ be released. Crazy

P: Can’t get crazier, Kejri

F: More threatened by  ‘AK-56’ than AK-47!

P: What with ‘UP’coming elections, no wonder they felt the need to ‘modi’fy their strategy with ‘surgical’ precision!

F: Understandably so. The opposition found themselves in a catch-22 situation. i.e., ‘to praise or not to praise’

P: But then you can’t praise too much lest it affect politically. Neither can you be economical in ‘praising’

F: Opposition parties found themselves with ‘hobson’s choice’

P: Outcome of their choice would fetch results contrary to their expectations

Whether the debate will ever abate, only ‘time(now)’ will tell! Nation above all. Period.

Insensitive Premier League

Life is full of ironies and we are a bundle of contradictions. Consider these: school children pooled in resources to the extent of Rs 15 lakhs for the drought hit villages. And we have franchisees, iconic players, politicians hell bent on ‘show-must-go-on’ policy. So it is IPL all the way. Can there be a greater irony?

Equally ironical is the fact that it takes a disaster to occur to wake us up to reality. Till second successive monsoon failure, we were not even willing to admit there was drought. The question then is, should we have waited this long? Does it not bite our conscience that we turned a nelson eye to such grave situation of farmers?

Just picture the drought-hit areas and the IPL extravaganza. If this is not an irony of immeasurable proportion, one wonders what else is!

Wrinkled skin, creased forehead, eyes staring fixedly at ‘nothing’ – sight and the plight of such a human body have now become so common in those drought-hit places. And we have a gang of intellectuals, big businessmen, politicians playing the blame game even as the hapless people wait for a drop of water! What an outlandish irony?

No longer do we see tears in the eyes of the drought-hit farmers for they have ‘dried’ up. The sight of people walking miles to fetch a pail of water is gut wrenching. Yet we hear the war cry: why pick IPL alone? Get to the root of the problem. Will shifting a few matches solve their problem? Ask the government and the civic administration. What about golf courses being watered? Questions plenty. But no easy answers.

There is no doubt that we should address the root cause of the problem. But then if it takes eternity to get to the root cause, find solutions, implement and hope that they produce the desired results, the short term measure of shifting a few matches is definitely a better option. ‘In the long run, we would all be dead’, so said J M Keynes!

IPL - a hugely popular commercial extravaganza – is an irreversible phenomenon. Ever since its launch in 2008, it has grabbed the headlines, caught the imagination of the young and old alike, and has become an instant success with ever increasing fan-following and media coverage. It has proved to be a god-send for the fringe cricketers who otherwise would never have made it to the top in the traditional set up.

Mired in controversies, backed by business magnates and celebrities, IPL is a bundle of ironies with its ‘in-your-face’ show of money power.

While media makes a spectacle of tears running down the faces of players and the spectators every time a match is won or lost, the tears of drought-hit farmers go unnoticed. The contrast is hard to miss even to the most Insensitive Privileged Lot!

Beefcase & Briefcase

“Stop passing the buck. Rise above petty politics. See the bigger picture. Just do it”

Funny and Punny chatted along. Funny sought a ‘brief’ from Punny on a ‘case’.

Punny: The security needs to be ‘beefed’ up (having  hearing problem P mistook ‘brief’ for ‘beef’)

Funny: I asked for a ‘brief’ on the case. If it doesn’t ‘suit’ you, i’ll ‘boot’ you, mind it

P: Healthcare badly needs a ‘beef’ up

F: if you are not giving me the ‘brief’, you will come to grief

P:It’s so ‘Irani’cal – our education system. It needs to be ‘beefed’ up

F: You are barking up the wrong ‘beef’

P: Control your line, ‘beef’ up the border

F: Ok, let’s have a ‘brief’ on the ‘colored’ money

P:It’s the money, honey. When it comes to money, black or white – we are color-neutral!

F: you are finally coming to your senses

P: You are singing the same old ‘RaGa’ tune, ‘modi’fy it with bit of dy’NaMo’

F: So you are not coming out with any ‘brief’ on any of the cases

P: Let me put a lid on the ‘beef’ and bring in the ‘brief’case you seem to be obsessed with

F&P then summed up:’for every suitcase, there is a briefcase’. And now an add-on:a ‘beef’case

Even as the debate – noisy and nasty – continues to rage consuming the ‘prime time’ of the Funnys and Punnys and that of the aam admis leaving them ever so confused, the netas are busy as ever taking the nation for a ride. From ‘suitcase to briefcase to beefcase’, the netas turn ‘cow’ard and continue to ‘slaughter’ the people’s legitimate aspirations, making mince’meat’ of their – by now fast fading – hopes for ‘ache din’!

“Stop passing the buck. Rise above petty politics. See the bigger picture. Just do it”

Fair Deal

Funny: Vijay Mallya says he won’t get a fair trial in India

Punny: How unfair particularly when he had a ‘you-scratch-my-back-i-scratch-yours’ deal

F:the deal which ensured the ‘great escape’ to London, was it a fair deal?

P:Even as the hapless bankers  were pleading in the court for his detention and suspension of his passport, Mallya was laughing his way to airport

F:Leaving the bankers with egg on their face

P: And you call them professional bankers?

F: Na, more like a bunch of jokers, seriously

P: A consortium of Bankers with ‘blinkers-on forever’

F: Consider the sequence of events – Mallya, sans the battery of giggling beauties, in broad daylight, with a truckload of baggage, bidding an eternal goodbye to India and at about the same time bankers pleading with the court for his detention and revocation of passport!!

P: Comedy of errors or errors of comedy?

F: I reckon both

P: Are you suggesting a ‘wilful’ deal to turn a nelson eye to the ‘great escape’?

F: But bankers have labelled him ‘wilful defaulter’

P: Both are equally guilty – one for ‘wilful deal’, the other for ‘wilful default’

Even as the media, the public and the bankers fret-n-fume, rage-n-rant, all we can do for now is to watch him being interviewed by ‘financial times’ on his ‘financial mess’! What an irony? What a deal?

A Fish For A King

 

Funny: Vijay Mallya has all the ‘time now’ to face ‘Financial Times’ in London

Punny: Of course, he neither had ‘time then’ nor the face for a face-off with ‘garrulous Goswami’

F: Timid questions with an equally timid and deadpan expression, FT’s interview looked more like a boring debate on an even more boring topic!

P: Which Mallya answered with a face as straight and a mind as crooked

F: in the interview, he had the temerity to claim he had no wrong

P: what if he ‘defaulted’ on remitting taxes collected to the government

F: It matters little that he ‘wilfully defaulted’ on paying salaries to his own ‘desi-employees’ leaving them ‘de-spirited’

P: While he was all caution when he ‘wilfully’ settled all the claims of all the overseas employees

F: Mallya claims there is ‘haste’ in process

P: He is right – what if it took 6-7-8 years to be ‘hasty’. Government authorities knew of non-remittance of taxes, PFs years ago.

F:You mean, there was a ‘deliberate deal’ to be slow to ‘hasten’ the process!

P: Are you suggesting a ‘wilful’ deal to turn a nelson eye to the ‘great escape’?

F: But bankers have labelled him ‘wilful defaulter’

P: Both are equally guilty – one for ‘wilful deal’, the other for ‘wilful default’

Even as the media, the public and the bankers fret-n-fume, rage-n-rant, all we can do for now is to watch him being interviewed by ‘financial times’ on his ‘financial mess’! What an irony? What a deal?

Deals Are Forever

 

Funny: Back then, there was a ‘new-clear-deal’

Punny: Oh, yes, that was when every Man, Mohan and Sing was singing ‘sing is king’

F: In an ‘august’ chill, an ‘august’ gathering sat in a ‘land’ facing ‘west’ and struck a deal

P: They had hopes of hopping around in the chopper

F: The deal had an ‘italian’ angle to it

P: Explain

F: A close look will tell you words written in ‘italics’ are always slanted \ at an angle

P: Call it an ‘italian’ angle

F: Or an ‘italian’ angel

P: Let’s be fair, it is an ‘italian angle’ with the grace of an ‘italian angel’!

F: For ‘Christ’s sake, don’t make a ‘hash’ of this deal in the ‘middle’ of all these ‘men’

P: Because, we are ‘So-nea’ to the deal

F: You mean ‘so near’

P: Ah!’med’iated for the deal, deserves a ‘pat’

F: It’s his SP

P: Now what is that?

F: Selling Point, sometimes unique

P: Add to it a good Track record

F: Let’s keep it short, SPT for Selling Point Trackrecord

P: You are good at acronym

F: Let us not be so acrimonious about this acronym called SPT lest we ‘court’ trouble

P: If it comes to that – ‘court’ trouble – it will take centuries, during which time we would all be ‘hopping’ around

F: But it is Italy, not India

P: You mean they could ‘kick’ us ‘back’

F: Yes, with all the ‘kicks’ that we got on our ‘back’

P: Then, let’s call off the deal

F: Deal or no deal, deal is a deal is a deal

P:For now it is a deal that there was never a deal and let every TV in New Delhi rage and rant about the deal, but the ‘buck won’t stop’

F: Whether it is an ‘italian-delight’ or a ‘desi-dealite’, it is ‘time-now’ to ‘pay-back!!

Silly Point – so thought BCCI

Silly Point – so thought BCCI

Funny: Back then in 1983, it was the minion India facing the mighty West Indies in Cricket World Cup final. No one gave India a chance.

Punny: Come 2016, it was the wiry Lodha wearing an innocent smile taking on the ‘pawar’full BCCI. Many thought BCCI would bulldoze Lodha

F: Silly of BCCI to have not seen the point

P: Now Supreme Court has literally and figuratively ‘swept’ away BCCI

F: 70+ score in Cricket and you look for century

P: Here, it is ‘obituary’!

F: They thought they could ‘swing’ the decision in their favor

P: What they didn’t reckon was it could be ‘reversed’

F: BCCI even tried to ‘spin’ a yarn quoting a comment allegedly by no less than ICC president labelling the Lodha Committe recommendations as ‘government interference’

P: SC read the ‘wrong-un’ well and countered it by ‘perjury and contempt of court’

F: It left BCCI running for ‘cover’ instead of ‘running between wickets’

P: Lodha ‘squared them up’ with sustained fiery attack

F: And left them ‘leaden footed’

P: Not knowing whether to go ‘forward’ or ‘backward’, ‘attack’ or ‘defend’, BCCI in the end ended up achieving neither

F: BCCI ‘overstepped’ trying every trick, going ‘over’ and ‘around’ the legalities

P: Ajay can no longer ‘shirk’e away from his responsibility

F: Ragged and dragged, Anurag’s ‘innings’ has been cut short abruptly

While, West Indies paid the price for complacency, BCCI is ‘clean bowled’ by its arrogance. Forced into ‘retirement’, its pride ‘hurt’, BCCI is licking the wounds. For now all it can do is cast a surreptitious ‘glance’ toward the ‘fine leg’ in the ‘gulley’ region! It was a ‘test’ that BCCI couldn’t survive and is reduced to ‘ashes’. Bruised and battered, banished beyond ‘boundary’, BCCI is at ‘sixes and sevens’ unable to figure out what hit them. Will it rise like phoenix from the ‘ashes’? Present tense, only future will tell!