CONTRADICTIONS
We are a bundle of
contradictions. We say one thing and mean exactly the opposite. We do things we
ought not to and don’t do those which we ought to. We invariably find ourselves
pre-judging persons. Call it prejudice, bias. Why do we do it? What drives us
to form biased views? One reason could be the habit of making comparisons.
Comparing one with another on lifestyle, income, social standing, career,
profession and many such things crowd our mind so much that we fail to
comprehend the reality. In Economics parlance it is called ‘demonstration
effect’. Comparisons are very dangerous, more so in personal relationship. Our
mind is constantly engaged in such ‘comparison mode’ and end up
‘satisfied\dissatisfied’ depending on our rating vis-a-vis the other person in
‘comparison scale’.
Self-righteousness
is another major cause for contradictions. Some of us are obsessed with
‘I-am-ok-rest-are-not-ok’ principle. They feel that others are always wrong.
Their mind is a minefield of dilemmas analysing and rationalizing the
behavioural pattern of others. All the while, in their attempt at being
self-righteous, they bring themselves under tremendous stress without being
aware of it.
Why do we find it
difficult to accept people for what they are? Why indulge in critical
examination of whoever that comes across us? Do we have to do it – bringing
every action, reaction, response under microscope? Is it too difficult a task
to accept them at face value? Live and let live proves elusive. Maybe, they
reckon it is too philosophical.
Treating others’
views regardless of its relevance or otherwise with utter disregard, contempt
is yet another display of our myopic mindset. Can we attribute it to feeling of
insecurity? Or irrational hatred?
While ego is a
universally acknowledged enemy, self-respect is considered a virtue. So thin is
the line between what we perceive as self-respect and ego, the probability of
getting them mixed up is very high.
Our behaviour in
victory and defeat is perhaps the biggest test of character. Humility in
victory and grace in defeat are a dream armoury to possess. To find the meaning
of equanimity all that we need to do is to consult dictionary. By merely
gathering its meaning from dictionary will not make us so. Are we really
capable of consistently displaying equanimity in adverse situations?
We tend to carry
too many negative feelings. Despite being aware of adverse impact of negative
feelings, we find it hard to get rid of them. Again a bundle of contradictions.
Positive mental attitude is the buzzword. Yet the degree of eagerness to hug
PMA is drowned by the force of negative feelings. Why is it that we attach so
much importance to negative feelings? A
deeper analysis might even suggest that we are allowing ourselves to be ruled
by them. Human brain is very tricky, so said a wise man. And we are proving him
right by our actions. One part of our mind wants us to keep an open mind while
the other does everything possible to shut it. The burden of contradictions
keeps mounting and the possibility of collapsing under its weight is alarmingly
high.
We find ourselves
obsessed with ‘what-might-others-say’ syndrome. As a consequence of this
syndrome, we find people behaving differently and unnaturally. We are not who
we are. Duplicity? Hypocrisy? It is
widely believed that we need to change constantly, adapt to the circumstances,
changing times. How often do we hear people saying ‘if only that was in place’,
world would be a better place to live in. Such sweeping generalization only
camouflages a weak mind. Aren’t we our own enemy? Unable to face the reality,
we hide behind a mask. The first place for change to happen is our doorstep.
But then we believe in exactly the opposite!
It is time for us
to see the bigger picture, reflect and introspect, ignore the narrow narrative,
live and let live. Life is fun. Have fun. If there’s none, find one!
