Market is for those who have the appetite for taking risks. Certainly not for the faint-hearted. It is then only logical that those who have invested in market have done so with full knowledge of the risks associated with such investments. In times of bullish run, they would have benefitted heavily. On the one hand, you don't want it regulated, i.e., govt intereference. It means, the economy is driven by 'market forces'. Given this situation, why then the government should indulge in 'bailouts'. Does it not amount to abetting the crime of these 'till-now-famous' financial giants? What happens to the 'promoters', CEOs, top executives et al? Will they ever be booked? Are they not accountable? How then does one define 'corporate social responsibility'?
Lot of questions, but not many answers.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
AMAZING AMDAVAD
AMAZING AMDAVAD
Probably the only metro with 24 hour uninterrupted power supply! Probably the only metro which has no traffic jams! Probably the only metro which has no parking problems! Probably the only metro which has no water problems! Probably the only metro where you don’t have to dig deep into your pocket to pay rent deposit! Probably the only metro which has a split summer – mercury level varying between 40 & 45 degree Celsius and remaining there for most part of the day throughout from March to June and then you will experience friendly mercury for the next 3 months from July to September. When the mercury is between 30 & 35, it ought to be friendly, right!
As I landed in Ahmedabad on the 9th of May 2006, I was grimly reminded of my friend’s words – it’s very hot in Ahmedabad. I felt as if I was walking through a furnace. The heat waves slapped me. Within seconds I was drenched to toe in sweat.
“…thoda age jao, theen rastha ayega….”, was the response on seeking direction to a certain place. I was stunned. How can a single road become three roads! I followed his direction still trying to figure out what he meant by ‘theen rastha’. After passing a few blocks, I was intercepted by an intersection. I looked around, not sure which way to pick. Again I sought the help of a passer-by. “aisa karo, thoda age jao, chaar rastha ayega….”. Trust me, I never got to hear the rest of what he said – my head began to swim. ‘theen rastha’ was probably a mistake, I guessed. Either I had heard him wrong or I didn’t hear him right! Either way, I found it funny and strange and couldn’t hold the lips together as I helped myself to a hearty laugh. And now, ‘chaar rastha’!! Well, well, well, something must be seriously wrong somewhere. Bemused and befuddled, I surged ahead, searching for the ‘chaar rastha’. Suddenly I found myself facing yet another intersection. Copy the BOLD & UNDERLINED words above, paste it here and read. The passer-by with his face held high to avoid spilling what appeared to be a watery & rainbowish liquid in his mouth said, “aghad javena, cho rasttha aave chhe”. I didn’t understand a word of what he said as it was pure Gujarathi. A Hindi speaking boy translated it in Hindi for me: “thoda age jao, chhe rastha ayega”! I felt stupefied. Too stunned to react. Theen rastha, I somehow reconciled myself to it. Chaar rastha, I resigned myself to it. Now, Chhe Rastha – six road, it was too much. Theen, chaar & chhe!!! I was to learn later that ‘theen rastha’ meant a junction with road spreading out to three directions & likewise!! That is Ahmedabad for you. Or Amdavad – as it is traditionally known here. Amazing, isn’t it?
The roads here are so wide and well maintained that you will enjoy driving. From Bhuj to Valsad and from Bhavnagar to Mehsana, the quality of road is superb. We hear a lot about officials of state governments visiting (choice) countries to gain first-hand information on infrastructure development. I should remind them that we have a place called Gujarat in India where infrastructure development is on fast track – from roads to ports, power generation to industries. If Gujarat can do it, so can other states. The powers that be of other states would do well to visit Gujarat instead of making trips abroad. It would save exchequer a lot of money! Even the state highway running through a remote place is better than the best of national highways elsewhere in the country. Most of the roads are four-laned ensuring smooth flow of traffic. The 220 KM stretch between Ahmedabad and Rajkot is unbelievably good. And the Expressway from Ahmedabad to Baroda is simply breathtaking. My wife’s eyebrows shot up to the sky and her jaws fell to the ground as she accidentally cast a glance at the needle. It was at 145! Even at 145 Ks, it seemed as if I was doing 80! A hoarding screamed – it is a joy ride. It sure is a joy ride. Here in Gujarat, they don’t tolerate bumpy roads. Well, mate, read on and you will know. On another occasion, we went to a place called Dakor – a small town about 80 KMs away from Ahmedabad. When we started the journey back from Dakor, it was well past 8 at night. I dread driving at night and avoid it. Yet this time I had no alternative but to drive at night. The road was so nice that I enjoyed every bit of it despite my aversion to driving at night. You know why, the road – a state highway – was wide and totally free of potholes or bumps making it a pleasure drive, notwithstanding the oncoming vehicles with glaring headlights! The edge of the road is so nicely smothered to coincide with the mud surface that even if you happen to swerve to the mud surface, you hardly feel the impact. Elsewhere in the country, the edge of the road would appear as if you are standing on the edge of a cliff, making you fidgety and edgy! Amazing. Truly amazing.
For people coming from elsewhere – particularly down south, sipping a simmering hot cup of coffee on taking a stroll early in the morning is like breathing in and out. And down south, you will see coffee stalls and people clinging like bees, trying to find the slightest elbow room to maneuver themselves to a position from where they hope to lay their hands on the elusive cup of coffee. If it is coffee stalls down south, it is pan parlors here in Ahmedabad. You will see people lined up before pan parlors - some busy ordering their choice pan, some carefully placing a powdery material in a shapeless plastic piece measuring about anything between 2 and 3 inches from one side to the other and rubbing it vigorously on the palm for about 30 – 40 seconds before carefully tapping it into a smallish container so that they can keep chewing the powdery thing at their chosen time. No sooner do they wake up than they make a dash to the nearest pan parlor! Amazing! Truly amazing!
You need to be very agile and athletic while walking on the pavement. You also need to constantly keep an eye on the people walking in front and on either side of you. You want to know why. There is every possibility of any one of them or all of them or most of them slanting the head across at any moment and spraying the brownish liquid in the mouth on the road in jet speed. Now you understand the need to be agile and athletic! If you are not, be prepared for a ‘pan-wash’. Or ‘pan-body-spray’ with ‘free-for-life’ label on it!! Add to that the ‘free-for-life-body-odor’ that will take the breath out of you (pun intended)! The spray comes in two different styles – one the jet speed kind (explained above), the other, an arc-like spray oozing out of the mouth to splash across the surface that will remind you of the Hindu mythology where upon the request of Bhishma lying on a bed of arrows, Arjuna shoots an arrow into the earth and water springs out to quench Bhishma’s thirst. The only difference is the movement – it is in reverse order. While it is from earth to mouth in the latter it is mouth to earth in the former! You will come across countless occasions where you see people skillfully pouring the powdery thing even as they are driving on their two wheelers. The sight of driver of a four wheeler suddenly slowing down and opening the front door a fraction and doing-you-know-what are very common sight. Let me explain. They simply empty the brownish liquid from their mouth on to the road! If you have the habit of chasing the vehicles in front of you, then you need to rein in your habit lest you might see your car getting a new coat of paint!! Amazing! Incredibly amazing!
The people here live their life to the full. They love their food. From roadside joints to luxury restaurants, you will see people lapping up their favorites. The sandwiches, dhabelis, dalvadas, gothas, vada-paavs et al. Add to this the dhoklas, kammans, shev – khamnis. They make you queue up to these joints like a guided missile! My favorite among these is ‘daalvada’ – a unique ‘nashto’ in the menu card. You will never find me saying ‘no’ to a plate of ‘daalvada’!! I was scanning a menu card. One item caught my attention – Jainwala Sandwich. Sandwich sans garlic and onion is Jainwala sandwich, my friend enlightened me. Amazing! Truly amazing!
The resilience of people of Gujarat is admirable. To check this out, all you have to do is visit Bhuj. Does the mention of Bhuj ring a bell? Yes, this was the town demolished by earthquake in 2001. When I went to Bhuj on a branch visit, I couldn’t believe what I saw. There is absolutely no trace of the tragedy. Now it has almost turned into a model town. Miraculous, truly miraculous!
Come October and the entire Gujarat is on its feet to celebrate Navrathri Festival. And the intensity with which they participate in religious functions is unbelievably touchy. You have to witness it to believe the joy and pride with which they celebrate it. From a five year old tiny tot to a sixty year old, you will find them dancing to the lovely rhythmic tunes of Garbha melodies. The session starts as late as 10 at night and goes on and on and on up until the early hours of morning!! With just a half hour break for ‘nashto’ in between, the stamina of these participants in indulging in this almost non-stop (except for the half-hour break) Garbha Dance for about 5 to six hours night after night for nine continuous nights is simply stunning. The climax is the ‘Dandiya Raas’. The Garbha session ends with ‘Dandiya Raas’ every night. The clucking sounds of the ‘dandiya’ played with such clinical precision is so sweet on your ears that you would be willing to swap your nine nights of sleep for watching it! It is worth it, mate. Surely. And you might think that they would sleep the entire day. Not quite true. They are up and away on to their routine life! Looking even more refreshing and cheerful! Would you believe it? That is Amdavad for you – an amazing place!
Amdavad is no different from any other busy metros. The traffic manners here are just as chaotic. But unlike other metros where such traffic indiscipline renders movement of vehicles to a crawl, it is surprisingly smooth courtesy wide roads, free left turn at every traffic signal and road divider. Small wonder then that you can bet on covering a distance of 10 KMs in less than 20 minutes even during rush hours! Amazing Amdavad, right?
In all of the 18 months of my stay in Amdavad, (at the time of writing this) there was power failure on 3 to 4 occasions. Each power failure lasted for about less than five minutes! Amdavad runs on Torrent Power – a private company supplying ‘torrent’ial power!
We were taking an after-dinner walk. It was around 11 at night. A lady in her teens breezed away on her two-wheeler, chatting animatedly on her mobile unmindful of the time in such matter-of-factly fashion. We were shocked. And surprised. Can you ever recall such scenes at any other major cities? Whether a lady should be traveling at odd hours is irrelevant. The point is they do so in Amdavad armed with the general feeling of ‘safety’ in their mind. So very comforting.
At first I didn’t like Ahmedabad, what with mercury soaring so high, sun seemingly hell bent on raining all its heat waves on people here. Next, I began to like it. And now I have fallen in love with Amdavad. And with Dalvada. Amazing Amdavad. Or shall we say, Amazing AMDA(L)VAD(A)!!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Hey, Consumers! Beware of These "Offers"
HEY! CONSUMER, BEWARE OF THESE ‘OFFERS’
‘Zero transaction charges on your current account’, ‘free sms banking’. As a customer, you need to check these. Read the fine prints (of course, you need magnifying glass!). Thanks to media – particularly electronic – consumer awareness level is at an all time high. Yet we come across cases where he has been taken for a ride. Consider this: a smartly dressed young man greets you & offers a ‘free for life credit card’ from a reputed bank. He also gives you a gift! Within seconds, he will ask you for your driving license, pan card, salary slip and your mobile bill – all this time, he would engage you in asking seemingly trivial questions and gathering information about you. They are trained in this line, make it look so convincing you find it difficult to decline the offer. You get your credit card as assured very soon. And a bill, little later!! It is then that you start running after them, trying to reach them through the ‘help(less)line’ that will be busy for ever. You are in for an eternal struggle to resolve the issue. More than the bill, it is the mental agony of having to deal with it that takes toll on your mind.
The debate on whether to opt for fixed rate or floating rate on your housing loan is endless. The borrower is confused about the whole thing. While some suggest fixed rate, others argue – quite rightly – that ‘fixed rate’ will not remain so for the entire period of loan. Bankers always insert a clause that fixed rate is subject to review periodically and this period varies from bank to bank. Generally, fixed rate would be reviewed once in 3 years. So, opting for fixed rate offers no insulation against future hikes in interest rates! A fixed rate is always higher than floating rate by about 0.25% to 1.50% depending on tenor of loan. If you opt for fixed rate, you will be paying higher interest from day one of your taking the loan. And the insulation against future interest hike is only up to the next review period. On such a review, interest rate might go up or down depending on the market situation. If you opt for floating rate which is linked to the bank’s BPLR, you are subjecting yourself to the volatility of interest rate which again depends on market conditions. Every change in bank’s BPLR will entail similar change in the interest rate on your loan. If you look at the past three years, interest rate has shot up several times, upsetting the budget of borrowers – particularly those who have opted for floating rate. Therefore, it is a difficult call really for the borrowers to decide which way to go – fixed or floating. More often, you find people taking such crucial decision based on what his friend or neighbor has opted for! It would be wise to do some research on the offers. Information is just a click away. All you need is the inclination to indulge in it. Where is the time to do all that, is the common refrain. What they don’t realize is that a little bit of research now would guard them against future shocks. Just as it is mandatory for the service provider – like bank, insurance, communication et al - to render efficient service, the consumer on his part needs to be equally responsible in his business relationship. Update pass books regularly. Check the transactions and notify any discrepancy immediately. Diarize the due dates of EMIs, premium payment, statutory payments. Be organized. This will help you a lot.
To sum up, next time when you have to deal with an ‘offer’ of a smartly dressed young man (lady), do some ‘due diligence’ on the ‘offer’ just as they do ‘due diligence’ on you! Because, behind every ‘offer’, there is a ‘price tag’ – by way of ‘T&C apply’!!
‘Zero transaction charges on your current account’, ‘free sms banking’. As a customer, you need to check these. Read the fine prints (of course, you need magnifying glass!). Thanks to media – particularly electronic – consumer awareness level is at an all time high. Yet we come across cases where he has been taken for a ride. Consider this: a smartly dressed young man greets you & offers a ‘free for life credit card’ from a reputed bank. He also gives you a gift! Within seconds, he will ask you for your driving license, pan card, salary slip and your mobile bill – all this time, he would engage you in asking seemingly trivial questions and gathering information about you. They are trained in this line, make it look so convincing you find it difficult to decline the offer. You get your credit card as assured very soon. And a bill, little later!! It is then that you start running after them, trying to reach them through the ‘help(less)line’ that will be busy for ever. You are in for an eternal struggle to resolve the issue. More than the bill, it is the mental agony of having to deal with it that takes toll on your mind.
The debate on whether to opt for fixed rate or floating rate on your housing loan is endless. The borrower is confused about the whole thing. While some suggest fixed rate, others argue – quite rightly – that ‘fixed rate’ will not remain so for the entire period of loan. Bankers always insert a clause that fixed rate is subject to review periodically and this period varies from bank to bank. Generally, fixed rate would be reviewed once in 3 years. So, opting for fixed rate offers no insulation against future hikes in interest rates! A fixed rate is always higher than floating rate by about 0.25% to 1.50% depending on tenor of loan. If you opt for fixed rate, you will be paying higher interest from day one of your taking the loan. And the insulation against future interest hike is only up to the next review period. On such a review, interest rate might go up or down depending on the market situation. If you opt for floating rate which is linked to the bank’s BPLR, you are subjecting yourself to the volatility of interest rate which again depends on market conditions. Every change in bank’s BPLR will entail similar change in the interest rate on your loan. If you look at the past three years, interest rate has shot up several times, upsetting the budget of borrowers – particularly those who have opted for floating rate. Therefore, it is a difficult call really for the borrowers to decide which way to go – fixed or floating. More often, you find people taking such crucial decision based on what his friend or neighbor has opted for! It would be wise to do some research on the offers. Information is just a click away. All you need is the inclination to indulge in it. Where is the time to do all that, is the common refrain. What they don’t realize is that a little bit of research now would guard them against future shocks. Just as it is mandatory for the service provider – like bank, insurance, communication et al - to render efficient service, the consumer on his part needs to be equally responsible in his business relationship. Update pass books regularly. Check the transactions and notify any discrepancy immediately. Diarize the due dates of EMIs, premium payment, statutory payments. Be organized. This will help you a lot.
To sum up, next time when you have to deal with an ‘offer’ of a smartly dressed young man (lady), do some ‘due diligence’ on the ‘offer’ just as they do ‘due diligence’ on you! Because, behind every ‘offer’, there is a ‘price tag’ – by way of ‘T&C apply’!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
FUNGLISH
FUNGLISH
Welcome to a world of Funglish – abbreviated version of ‘fun filled English’! There is a tendency among us to speak English the way you would your mother tongue. I am always overawed by my friend’s extra-ordinary ability to speak ‘funglish’ fluently. So fluent that a formula – 1 commentator would look pedestrian in comparison! You will have to be all ‘focus’ when he is in full flow – which he invariably is – lest you miss those pearls of words. ‘He wenta’? ‘Already lefta’ are just a few of those. He does it in such matter-of-factly fashion that it would paralyze the senses of a grammar-sensitive guy. Wren & Martin would run and run and run in sheer frustration.
And there are some whose pronunciation is grating and breathtakingly high on ‘IQ’ – irritation quotient! ‘Earth’ becomes ‘yarth’. ‘Steady’ becomes ‘steedy’. ‘Niche’ is twisted as ‘neekhe’ or ‘nike’ or simply ‘nik’. Or even ‘nish’!!
And you will for ever find people conversing in – what else – ‘funglish’ that will make you laugh for ever. ‘Whatwhatwhat’… ‘Comecomecome, we are late’. ‘Nonononono’. Obviously, there is a feeling that unless a word is repeated the sense of urgency is not felt!
And if you are getting bored, then all you need to do is just watch and overhear a telephonic conversation – watch to catch the expression and overhear for the pearls of words. ‘Haallo’ – eyes squeezed & forehead creased (resembling a wrinkled lump of clothes just removed from washing machine needing pressing) – and seconds later you can see the sudden relaxing of eye muscles as he is able to place the caller and suddenly you find his open jaws displaying filled and unfilled, colored and coated denture letting out a gush of (gutkha?) breath that will make the person sitting in front feel that he is in front of a fan!! Now you are in for an endless chat as he settles himself nicely in his chair, removing the glasses – you don’t need glasses when speaking, surely – and holding it in front of his eyes checking for spots that blur the vision even as he is speaking. ‘..i have told himmu…’...suddenly switches to his mother-tongue involuntarily and then realizing that he is sounding Greek to the caller switches back to – what else – ‘funglish’! ‘….naaat like thattu, you shoulddu guidu ….’ Let me be the interpreter – he meant ‘not like that, you should guide..’!! Now back to the conversation. ‘…huhuhu – piggy mouthed – and then a serious expression that lasts only a few seconds and then a ear-piercing screeching sound indicating a very hilarious exchange of – what else – ‘pearls of words’. All this time his body is revolving in an arc-like pre-set position in his revolving chair that is as old as the occupant and creaking as it journeyed from left to right adding to the sound pollution. All this time ‘pearls-of-words’ continue to flow ‘…you didn’t goa’ (you didn’t go), ….what you dooooo annn– a ‘raga’ that would either baffle or delight the music composers – and suddenly remembers an alternative expression. ‘you search…’. The caller must have interrupted and in response, ‘already searchda, not founda, ayyayyo, checheche, (don’t need me – the interpreter, any more!) his bodyweight falling forward simultaneously transferring the receiver to the other ear, the conversation continues. ‘what, promotion processa, startedda, whennu….what study nowwu, studygidy only for you peopallu…’ Suddenly you see him kicking the chair back and seeming to end the conversation hurriedly as he is summoned by his boss. Even as he is readying himself to disconnect, blurts out ..okok, boss callingu, I am keepinga…all the bestu for the promotion testu’!! I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘funglish’. Did you? Or more appropriately, ‘enjoyda’?
Welcome to a world of Funglish – abbreviated version of ‘fun filled English’! There is a tendency among us to speak English the way you would your mother tongue. I am always overawed by my friend’s extra-ordinary ability to speak ‘funglish’ fluently. So fluent that a formula – 1 commentator would look pedestrian in comparison! You will have to be all ‘focus’ when he is in full flow – which he invariably is – lest you miss those pearls of words. ‘He wenta’? ‘Already lefta’ are just a few of those. He does it in such matter-of-factly fashion that it would paralyze the senses of a grammar-sensitive guy. Wren & Martin would run and run and run in sheer frustration.
And there are some whose pronunciation is grating and breathtakingly high on ‘IQ’ – irritation quotient! ‘Earth’ becomes ‘yarth’. ‘Steady’ becomes ‘steedy’. ‘Niche’ is twisted as ‘neekhe’ or ‘nike’ or simply ‘nik’. Or even ‘nish’!!
And you will for ever find people conversing in – what else – ‘funglish’ that will make you laugh for ever. ‘Whatwhatwhat’… ‘Comecomecome, we are late’. ‘Nonononono’. Obviously, there is a feeling that unless a word is repeated the sense of urgency is not felt!
And if you are getting bored, then all you need to do is just watch and overhear a telephonic conversation – watch to catch the expression and overhear for the pearls of words. ‘Haallo’ – eyes squeezed & forehead creased (resembling a wrinkled lump of clothes just removed from washing machine needing pressing) – and seconds later you can see the sudden relaxing of eye muscles as he is able to place the caller and suddenly you find his open jaws displaying filled and unfilled, colored and coated denture letting out a gush of (gutkha?) breath that will make the person sitting in front feel that he is in front of a fan!! Now you are in for an endless chat as he settles himself nicely in his chair, removing the glasses – you don’t need glasses when speaking, surely – and holding it in front of his eyes checking for spots that blur the vision even as he is speaking. ‘..i have told himmu…’...suddenly switches to his mother-tongue involuntarily and then realizing that he is sounding Greek to the caller switches back to – what else – ‘funglish’! ‘….naaat like thattu, you shoulddu guidu ….’ Let me be the interpreter – he meant ‘not like that, you should guide..’!! Now back to the conversation. ‘…huhuhu – piggy mouthed – and then a serious expression that lasts only a few seconds and then a ear-piercing screeching sound indicating a very hilarious exchange of – what else – ‘pearls of words’. All this time his body is revolving in an arc-like pre-set position in his revolving chair that is as old as the occupant and creaking as it journeyed from left to right adding to the sound pollution. All this time ‘pearls-of-words’ continue to flow ‘…you didn’t goa’ (you didn’t go), ….what you dooooo annn– a ‘raga’ that would either baffle or delight the music composers – and suddenly remembers an alternative expression. ‘you search…’. The caller must have interrupted and in response, ‘already searchda, not founda, ayyayyo, checheche, (don’t need me – the interpreter, any more!) his bodyweight falling forward simultaneously transferring the receiver to the other ear, the conversation continues. ‘what, promotion processa, startedda, whennu….what study nowwu, studygidy only for you peopallu…’ Suddenly you see him kicking the chair back and seeming to end the conversation hurriedly as he is summoned by his boss. Even as he is readying himself to disconnect, blurts out ..okok, boss callingu, I am keepinga…all the bestu for the promotion testu’!! I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘funglish’. Did you? Or more appropriately, ‘enjoyda’?
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