We are a bundle of contradictions. We say one thing
and mean exactly the opposite. We do things we ought not to and don’t do those
which we ought to. We invariably find ourselves pre-judging persons. Call it
prejudice, bias. Why do we do it? What drives us to form biased views? One
reason could be the habit of making comparisons. Comparing one with another on
lifestyle, income, social standing, career, profession and many such things
crowd our mind so much that we fail to comprehend the reality. In Economics parlance
it is called ‘demonstration effect’. Comparisons are very dangerous, more so in
personal relationship. Our mind is constantly engaged in such ‘comparison mode’
and end up ‘satisfied\dissatisfied’ depending on our rating vis-a-vis the other
person in ‘comparison scale’.
Self-righteousness is another major cause for
contradictions. Some of us are obsessed with ‘I-am-ok-rest-are-not-ok’
principle. They feel that others are always wrong. Their mind is a minefield of
dilemmas analysing and rationalizing the behavioural pattern of others. All the
while, in their attempt at being self-righteous, they bring themselves under
tremendous stress without being aware of it.
Why do we find it difficult to accept people for
what they are? Why indulge in critical examination of whoever that comes across
us? Do we have to do it – bringing every action, reaction, response under
microscope? Is it too difficult a task to accept them at face value? Live and
let live proves elusive. Maybe, they reckon it is too philosophical.
Treating others’ views regardless of its relevance
or otherwise with utter disregard, contempt is yet another display of our
myopic mindset. Can we attribute it to feeling of insecurity? Or irrational
hatred?
While ego is a universally acknowledged enemy,
self-respect is considered a virtue. So thin is the line between what we
perceive as self-respect and ego, the probability of getting them mixed up is
very high.
Our behaviour in victory and defeat is perhaps the biggest
test of character. Humility in victory and grace in defeat are a dream armoury
to possess. To find the meaning of equanimity all that we need to do is to
consult dictionary. By merely gathering its meaning from dictionary will not
make us so. Are we really capable of consistently displaying equanimity in
adverse situations?
We tend to carry too many negative feelings. Despite
being aware of adverse impact of negative feelings, we find it hard to get rid
of them. Again a bundle of contradictions. Positive mental attitude is the
buzzword. Yet the degree of eagerness to hug PMA is drowned by the force of
negative feelings. Why is it that we attach so much importance to negative
feelings? A deeper analysis might even
suggest that we are allowing ourselves to be ruled by them. Human brain is very
tricky, so said a wise man. And we are proving him right by our actions. One
part of our mind wants us to keep an open mind while the other does everything
possible to shut it. The burden of contradictions keeps mounting and the
possibility of collapsing under its weight is alarmingly high.
We find ourselves obsessed with
‘what-might-others-say’ syndrome. As a consequence of this syndrome, we find
people behaving differently and unnaturally. We are not who we are. Duplicity? Hypocrisy? It is widely believed that we need
to change constantly, adapt to the circumstances, changing times. How often do
we hear people saying ‘if only that was in place’, world would be a better
place to live in. Such sweeping generalization only camouflages a weak mind.
Aren’t we our own enemy? Unable to face the reality, we hide behind a mask. The
first place for change to happen is our doorstep. But then we believe in
exactly the opposite!
It is time for us to see the bigger picture, reflect
and introspect, ignore the narrow narrative, live and let live. Life is fun.
Have fun. If there’s none, find one!
