FUNGLISH
Welcome to a world of Funglish – abbreviated version of ‘fun filled English’! There is a tendency among us to speak English the way you would your mother tongue. I am always overawed by my friend’s extra-ordinary ability to speak ‘funglish’ fluently. So fluent that a formula – 1 commentator would look pedestrian in comparison! You will have to be all ‘focus’ when he is in full flow – which he invariably is – lest you miss those pearls of words. ‘He wenta’? ‘Already lefta’ are just a few of those. He does it in such matter-of-factly fashion that it would paralyze the senses of a grammar-sensitive guy. Wren & Martin would run and run and run in sheer frustration.
And there are some whose pronunciation is grating and breathtakingly high on ‘IQ’ – irritation quotient! ‘Earth’ becomes ‘yarth’. ‘Steady’ becomes ‘steedy’. ‘Niche’ is twisted as ‘neekhe’ or ‘nike’ or simply ‘nik’. Or even ‘nish’!!
And you will for ever find people conversing in – what else – ‘funglish’ that will make you laugh for ever. ‘Whatwhatwhat’… ‘Comecomecome, we are late’. ‘Nonononono’. Obviously, there is a feeling that unless a word is repeated the sense of urgency is not felt!
And if you are getting bored, then all you need to do is just watch and overhear a telephonic conversation – watch to catch the expression and overhear for the pearls of words. ‘Haallo’ – eyes squeezed & forehead creased (resembling a wrinkled lump of clothes just removed from washing machine needing pressing) – and seconds later you can see the sudden relaxing of eye muscles as he is able to place the caller and suddenly you find his open jaws displaying filled and unfilled, colored and coated denture letting out a gush of (gutkha?) breath that will make the person sitting in front feel that he is in front of a fan!! Now you are in for an endless chat as he settles himself nicely in his chair, removing the glasses – you don’t need glasses when speaking, surely – and holding it in front of his eyes checking for spots that blur the vision even as he is speaking. ‘..i have told himmu…’...suddenly switches to his mother-tongue involuntarily and then realizing that he is sounding Greek to the caller switches back to – what else – ‘funglish’! ‘….naaat like thattu, you shoulddu guidu ….’ Let me be the interpreter – he meant ‘not like that, you should guide..’!! Now back to the conversation. ‘…huhuhu – piggy mouthed – and then a serious expression that lasts only a few seconds and then a ear-piercing screeching sound indicating a very hilarious exchange of – what else – ‘pearls of words’. All this time his body is revolving in an arc-like pre-set position in his revolving chair that is as old as the occupant and creaking as it journeyed from left to right adding to the sound pollution. All this time ‘pearls-of-words’ continue to flow ‘…you didn’t goa’ (you didn’t go), ….what you dooooo annn– a ‘raga’ that would either baffle or delight the music composers – and suddenly remembers an alternative expression. ‘you search…’. The caller must have interrupted and in response, ‘already searchda, not founda, ayyayyo, checheche, (don’t need me – the interpreter, any more!) his bodyweight falling forward simultaneously transferring the receiver to the other ear, the conversation continues. ‘what, promotion processa, startedda, whennu….what study nowwu, studygidy only for you peopallu…’ Suddenly you see him kicking the chair back and seeming to end the conversation hurriedly as he is summoned by his boss. Even as he is readying himself to disconnect, blurts out ..okok, boss callingu, I am keepinga…all the bestu for the promotion testu’!! I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘funglish’. Did you? Or more appropriately, ‘enjoyda’?
Welcome to a world of Funglish – abbreviated version of ‘fun filled English’! There is a tendency among us to speak English the way you would your mother tongue. I am always overawed by my friend’s extra-ordinary ability to speak ‘funglish’ fluently. So fluent that a formula – 1 commentator would look pedestrian in comparison! You will have to be all ‘focus’ when he is in full flow – which he invariably is – lest you miss those pearls of words. ‘He wenta’? ‘Already lefta’ are just a few of those. He does it in such matter-of-factly fashion that it would paralyze the senses of a grammar-sensitive guy. Wren & Martin would run and run and run in sheer frustration.
And there are some whose pronunciation is grating and breathtakingly high on ‘IQ’ – irritation quotient! ‘Earth’ becomes ‘yarth’. ‘Steady’ becomes ‘steedy’. ‘Niche’ is twisted as ‘neekhe’ or ‘nike’ or simply ‘nik’. Or even ‘nish’!!
And you will for ever find people conversing in – what else – ‘funglish’ that will make you laugh for ever. ‘Whatwhatwhat’… ‘Comecomecome, we are late’. ‘Nonononono’. Obviously, there is a feeling that unless a word is repeated the sense of urgency is not felt!
And if you are getting bored, then all you need to do is just watch and overhear a telephonic conversation – watch to catch the expression and overhear for the pearls of words. ‘Haallo’ – eyes squeezed & forehead creased (resembling a wrinkled lump of clothes just removed from washing machine needing pressing) – and seconds later you can see the sudden relaxing of eye muscles as he is able to place the caller and suddenly you find his open jaws displaying filled and unfilled, colored and coated denture letting out a gush of (gutkha?) breath that will make the person sitting in front feel that he is in front of a fan!! Now you are in for an endless chat as he settles himself nicely in his chair, removing the glasses – you don’t need glasses when speaking, surely – and holding it in front of his eyes checking for spots that blur the vision even as he is speaking. ‘..i have told himmu…’...suddenly switches to his mother-tongue involuntarily and then realizing that he is sounding Greek to the caller switches back to – what else – ‘funglish’! ‘….naaat like thattu, you shoulddu guidu ….’ Let me be the interpreter – he meant ‘not like that, you should guide..’!! Now back to the conversation. ‘…huhuhu – piggy mouthed – and then a serious expression that lasts only a few seconds and then a ear-piercing screeching sound indicating a very hilarious exchange of – what else – ‘pearls of words’. All this time his body is revolving in an arc-like pre-set position in his revolving chair that is as old as the occupant and creaking as it journeyed from left to right adding to the sound pollution. All this time ‘pearls-of-words’ continue to flow ‘…you didn’t goa’ (you didn’t go), ….what you dooooo annn– a ‘raga’ that would either baffle or delight the music composers – and suddenly remembers an alternative expression. ‘you search…’. The caller must have interrupted and in response, ‘already searchda, not founda, ayyayyo, checheche, (don’t need me – the interpreter, any more!) his bodyweight falling forward simultaneously transferring the receiver to the other ear, the conversation continues. ‘what, promotion processa, startedda, whennu….what study nowwu, studygidy only for you peopallu…’ Suddenly you see him kicking the chair back and seeming to end the conversation hurriedly as he is summoned by his boss. Even as he is readying himself to disconnect, blurts out ..okok, boss callingu, I am keepinga…all the bestu for the promotion testu’!! I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘funglish’. Did you? Or more appropriately, ‘enjoyda’?
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