Fair Deal

Funny: Vijay Mallya says he won’t get a fair trial in India

Punny: How unfair particularly when he had a ‘you-scratch-my-back-i-scratch-yours’ deal

F:the deal which ensured the ‘great escape’ to London, was it a fair deal?

P:Even as the hapless bankers  were pleading in the court for his detention and suspension of his passport, Mallya was laughing his way to airport

F:Leaving the bankers with egg on their face

P: And you call them professional bankers?

F: Na, more like a bunch of jokers, seriously

P: A consortium of Bankers with ‘blinkers-on forever’

F: Consider the sequence of events – Mallya, sans the battery of giggling beauties, in broad daylight, with a truckload of baggage, bidding an eternal goodbye to India and at about the same time bankers pleading with the court for his detention and revocation of passport!!

P: Comedy of errors or errors of comedy?

F: I reckon both

P: Are you suggesting a ‘wilful’ deal to turn a nelson eye to the ‘great escape’?

F: But bankers have labelled him ‘wilful defaulter’

P: Both are equally guilty – one for ‘wilful deal’, the other for ‘wilful default’

Even as the media, the public and the bankers fret-n-fume, rage-n-rant, all we can do for now is to watch him being interviewed by ‘financial times’ on his ‘financial mess’! What an irony? What a deal?

A Fish For A King

 

Funny: Vijay Mallya has all the ‘time now’ to face ‘Financial Times’ in London

Punny: Of course, he neither had ‘time then’ nor the face for a face-off with ‘garrulous Goswami’

F: Timid questions with an equally timid and deadpan expression, FT’s interview looked more like a boring debate on an even more boring topic!

P: Which Mallya answered with a face as straight and a mind as crooked

F: in the interview, he had the temerity to claim he had no wrong

P: what if he ‘defaulted’ on remitting taxes collected to the government

F: It matters little that he ‘wilfully defaulted’ on paying salaries to his own ‘desi-employees’ leaving them ‘de-spirited’

P: While he was all caution when he ‘wilfully’ settled all the claims of all the overseas employees

F: Mallya claims there is ‘haste’ in process

P: He is right – what if it took 6-7-8 years to be ‘hasty’. Government authorities knew of non-remittance of taxes, PFs years ago.

F:You mean, there was a ‘deliberate deal’ to be slow to ‘hasten’ the process!

P: Are you suggesting a ‘wilful’ deal to turn a nelson eye to the ‘great escape’?

F: But bankers have labelled him ‘wilful defaulter’

P: Both are equally guilty – one for ‘wilful deal’, the other for ‘wilful default’

Even as the media, the public and the bankers fret-n-fume, rage-n-rant, all we can do for now is to watch him being interviewed by ‘financial times’ on his ‘financial mess’! What an irony? What a deal?

Deals Are Forever

 

Funny: Back then, there was a ‘new-clear-deal’

Punny: Oh, yes, that was when every Man, Mohan and Sing was singing ‘sing is king’

F: In an ‘august’ chill, an ‘august’ gathering sat in a ‘land’ facing ‘west’ and struck a deal

P: They had hopes of hopping around in the chopper

F: The deal had an ‘italian’ angle to it

P: Explain

F: A close look will tell you words written in ‘italics’ are always slanted \ at an angle

P: Call it an ‘italian’ angle

F: Or an ‘italian’ angel

P: Let’s be fair, it is an ‘italian angle’ with the grace of an ‘italian angel’!

F: For ‘Christ’s sake, don’t make a ‘hash’ of this deal in the ‘middle’ of all these ‘men’

P: Because, we are ‘So-nea’ to the deal

F: You mean ‘so near’

P: Ah!’med’iated for the deal, deserves a ‘pat’

F: It’s his SP

P: Now what is that?

F: Selling Point, sometimes unique

P: Add to it a good Track record

F: Let’s keep it short, SPT for Selling Point Trackrecord

P: You are good at acronym

F: Let us not be so acrimonious about this acronym called SPT lest we ‘court’ trouble

P: If it comes to that – ‘court’ trouble – it will take centuries, during which time we would all be ‘hopping’ around

F: But it is Italy, not India

P: You mean they could ‘kick’ us ‘back’

F: Yes, with all the ‘kicks’ that we got on our ‘back’

P: Then, let’s call off the deal

F: Deal or no deal, deal is a deal is a deal

P:For now it is a deal that there was never a deal and let every TV in New Delhi rage and rant about the deal, but the ‘buck won’t stop’

F: Whether it is an ‘italian-delight’ or a ‘desi-dealite’, it is ‘time-now’ to ‘pay-back!!

Silly Point – so thought BCCI

Silly Point – so thought BCCI

Funny: Back then in 1983, it was the minion India facing the mighty West Indies in Cricket World Cup final. No one gave India a chance.

Punny: Come 2016, it was the wiry Lodha wearing an innocent smile taking on the ‘pawar’full BCCI. Many thought BCCI would bulldoze Lodha

F: Silly of BCCI to have not seen the point

P: Now Supreme Court has literally and figuratively ‘swept’ away BCCI

F: 70+ score in Cricket and you look for century

P: Here, it is ‘obituary’!

F: They thought they could ‘swing’ the decision in their favor

P: What they didn’t reckon was it could be ‘reversed’

F: BCCI even tried to ‘spin’ a yarn quoting a comment allegedly by no less than ICC president labelling the Lodha Committe recommendations as ‘government interference’

P: SC read the ‘wrong-un’ well and countered it by ‘perjury and contempt of court’

F: It left BCCI running for ‘cover’ instead of ‘running between wickets’

P: Lodha ‘squared them up’ with sustained fiery attack

F: And left them ‘leaden footed’

P: Not knowing whether to go ‘forward’ or ‘backward’, ‘attack’ or ‘defend’, BCCI in the end ended up achieving neither

F: BCCI ‘overstepped’ trying every trick, going ‘over’ and ‘around’ the legalities

P: Ajay can no longer ‘shirk’e away from his responsibility

F: Ragged and dragged, Anurag’s ‘innings’ has been cut short abruptly

While, West Indies paid the price for complacency, BCCI is ‘clean bowled’ by its arrogance. Forced into ‘retirement’, its pride ‘hurt’, BCCI is licking the wounds. For now all it can do is cast a surreptitious ‘glance’ toward the ‘fine leg’ in the ‘gulley’ region! It was a ‘test’ that BCCI couldn’t survive and is reduced to ‘ashes’. Bruised and battered, banished beyond ‘boundary’, BCCI is at ‘sixes and sevens’ unable to figure out what hit them. Will it rise like phoenix from the ‘ashes’? Present tense, only future will tell! 

Being (in)human

 Funny: For a (Sal)man who is ever ‘ready’ to bare his ‘body’ to drop his ‘guard’ for a tongue-loose remark that lets all hell break loose, shouldn’t we remind him it is ‘time-now’ for him to not just carry the slogan ‘Being Human’ but be actually that
Punny: For a (...)man who is spending every ‘buck’ to erase the ‘black-spot’, he badly needs a ‘kick’ to bring him back to some sens...e of sanity
F: People are tired of his ‘tired remark’ where he draws the analogy of a rape victim
P: He is used to ‘hit and run’. For the rich and mighty, it is just a game as they successfully forge a ‘partner’ship with the best of legal brains to make mockery of the legal system
F: But then, he is famous for his one-liners!
P: Precisely, he is a man of many words. His one-liners are laced with many words. Not interested in ‘one word’
F: You mean ‘economy of words’ contributing to our economy
P: Yes, look at the effect of one less word on environment
F: Every time you (don’t) say one less word, one less word gets printed which in turn leads to one less space consumed in print media which in turn...!
P: Environmentalists will cry – ‘Jai Ho’ – one less word
F: The FM will then reel out the cascading effects of the ‘economy-of-words’ on our economy when a (..)man chooses not to say a ‘word’, meaning thereby everyone needs to say a word less
P: Call it the ‘wordless economy’
Even as we ponder to wonder or wonder to ponder – whichever way you like it – we find ourselves dazed and confused. Whether we are argumentative Indians or reluctant Indians, intolerant Indians or tolerant Indians, a world-class economy or a wordless economy, the debate continues. One thing is for sure: we continue to be a bundle of contradictions and heaps of hypocrisy. Whether (...)man is (hu)man enough to admit that ‘one-word’, only time will tell. Time up, says time now. Common, (Sal)man, say the most ‘wanted’ word!

JE SUIS CHARLIE

IT’S THE ‘FOE’, STUPID! Freedom of expression can be your friend. And your FOE too as the recent Hebdo massacre revealed. Cartoonists draw admiration for their creative expression through wit, satire. From politicians to professionals, actors to authors, sportsmen to god men, cartoonists have spared none. While most took the lampooning in their stride, there have been instances where their wit and sarcasm went beyond the wisdom of certain section of the society, especially religious. The challenge for the cartoonists has always been to not cross the line of intolerance. Equally challenging was, who decides the tolerance quotient which is highly subjective.  The rage of terror on Charlie Hebdo received a flood of outrage in the form of protests, debates et al. While there is no doubt that the act of terror can never be justified, there is a fleeting evidence of discerning voices expressing doubts on whether the line of tolerance was crossed in this case. If the intellect can’t rein in the temptation to needle the ‘religious nerve’, knowing very well the high probability of triggering ‘sleeper cells’ to freely express their rage at what is supposedly a mere ‘laugh-it-off’ matter as the western culture would like to believe, who is to be blamed? The intellect whose thinking faculties are far superior? Or the terror masked by its perverted mindset and deep rooted hatred for western culture? Why touch ‘religious nerve’ at all? By no stretch of imagination should this be inferred as supporting terror act. If terror cannot be eliminated, contain it should be our priority. Given that the whole world is trying every which way to do so, how justifiable then is freedom of expression if it results in negating the very purpose?  

What is perfectly ‘laugh-it-off’ stuff in one part of the world has the potential of creating havoc in another part. Even as ‘FOE’ is the holy grail of democracy, it carries a caveat that it is used responsibly. Relying solely on the right to FOE unmindful of its consequences is an act as illogical as that of the terror act itself.  

Of what use is FOE if it does not promote harmony among people? The world is sick of such ‘sickening’ acts. It can certainly do with a bit of restraint on the part of fourth estate. Which draws us back to the question: Do you necessarily have to touch the ‘raw nerve’ which is universally known for its vulnerability? Some say that education is the key to progress. In which case, crimes should not happen in developed countries. Unfortunately, it is not so. Crimes of every description continue unabated in educated and less educated societies and in equal measure! It is shocking to see the ‘well educated’ commit crimes that defy logic. What sort of education is that if it fails to enable enlightenment in the recipient’s mind? 

It requires a deep psycho-analysis - social background, psychological mindset; economic inequalities. The much touted values of economic reforms, free market and its ‘trickle-down’ theory – it is barely trickling in every cruelest sense of the term – have managed to benefit the rich at a much faster rate while the poor are still languishing. 

It is the hatred and insatiable greed for success, fame, material wealth that blur the ability to reflect on the bigger picture. Otherwise, how else can you explain the acts of those wearing terror outfits and those wearing educated labels? Whose action deserves greater condemnation? The ones who provoked? Or those provoked? One in the name of FOE! The other in the name of hatred and intolerance. What then is the way out? 

There is no quick fix solution. The need is for a long, grinding process of evolution. Rediscover the self in a journey called ‘cultural (r)evolution’. It may take centuries. Until then, let us enjoy the pleasures of ‘freedom of expression, and endure the pains of ‘FOE’!

Freedom of expression is meant for creating an atmosphere of mutual trust, peace, goodwill and harmony among people irrespective of caste creed and religion. Create a friend and not FOE through freedom of expression. Because, otherwise, we the ‘intellect’ would be ‘missing the cake for the wrapper’ just as the terrorists did.